WHERE DID YOU GET THAT BLANK EXPRESSION ON YOUR FACE?

So I'm trotting along St. Clair W today, doing my absolute best to look impossibly fresh, perky and summery - even though my feet are killing me in my new and oh so cute strappy turquoise heels, when I arrive at the Subway and it's closed for a medical emergency. No problem, I'm not really in a hurry, so I pop into the LCBO to browse the expensive bottles of champagne before settling on a 6 pack of Corona. I get to the cute checkout boy...

-Hi, how are you?
-Good and you?
...he looked at me for a moment...must be going to ask for ID I figured...
-Oh, good! ...sorry, it's just the hair...the blond hair, looks really good with your blue eyes
-Oh, umm yea its uhh summery I suppose!
-Yea, it is. ...And the glasses, they look great too
-ohh umm...i smiled as I fumbled with my debit card..
-And I really like your necklace...just everything ...Real uh summery, it's nice!
a few words exchanged about working indoors while we could be enjoying the sun...
-Are you done work for the day?
-Yup! Well have a nice day...and I scooted out to let the person behind me pay for their stuff. Seriously, I don't make this shit up.
I thought briefly about trotting back in on my way out of Loblaws and daringly asking the cute boy out, but only briefly. Toronto boys are bad news after all.

BELGIUM OR PERU

I have less than one year until I finish nursing school and for the first time I'll be part of the real world. A big girl. Moving to Toronto wasn't scary for me. I was coming here to be a student. Safe with my student loan and books to keep me company. Also I had the super wonderful Liz & Nick to meet me at the airport and hold my hand as I traveled on the subway for the first time in my sheltered life. They also helped me move into my new apt, clean it and get settled. So now, I've been thinking about where I want to work when I finish school.

When I started I never thought I would ever even consider staying in TORONTO...and now...well it is the easy and safe choice. I have an apt (and know where to look for a new and better apt), I know the hospitals, I know the health care system, I have come to make some great friends, there are great running places and groups to train with and great races - although Toronto needs more water fountains! I near died of dehydration and heat stroke today on my long run "You really shouldn't be running in this heat!" - random guy while stopped at a light. Toronto has fabulous shopping, great food, fantastic night life. The technology and opportunities available in the hospitals here are far greater than most of Canada. The cons however...SMOG! My lungs have noticed the difference from the crisp clean east coast air to the thick-black-blocks the view of the CN Tower-haze :S and IF I ever decided I wanted to settled down with a family, I'm not sure I would feel comfortable raising children in a city that doesn't blink an eye at gang gun shootings at 10 in the morning.

Another idea floating around in my head is ENGLAND. I've always said I would visit soon as I was done of school (I had hoped it would be w granddad and he could show me where he grew up and played football and we could drink Guinness and catch a ManU game...)...and I've recently been reminded about how much I want to visit by a boy that I randomly met. And the love of my life Cat is already there - meeting hot cricket players. My preceptor worked in England for a couple of years as a CA before moving back to TO and says she wishes she had stayed longer. There's also the London marathon and a better chance at meeting Paula Radcliffe! The only problem I foresee in this plan is figuring out the VISA shit, figuring out what the hell to do once I get off the airplane, writing another RN exam (I don't know much about how this works, even within Canada, I'm unsure if you must write separate exams for different Provinces...this is something i definitely need to look in to.). Anyways, the cute scarves and accents make this a real appealing choice!

Or there is CALIFORNIA. To be honest I haven't thought much about it, but the idea was planted in my head originally by a clinical instructor who pointed out to me that they have wicked signing bonuses, pay really well and I'm young so I should go someplace hip hot and exciting! I'm not sure if the pay and signing bonus is to be found all across the states, but again it is something I should look into. Also from talking to people in the know, it is not difficult to obtain a work VISA for nursing in the states. They'll gladly take us :)

Which leads me to yet another choice...NEW YORK. Basically Toronto, only bigger and better. I'd spend my days off from work strolling 5th ave, sippin martinis and just being fabulous. I can so picture myself there.

OR I could stick with my Canadian roots and head west to CALGARY. I loveeee Calgary. It's beautiful and it's got the same crisp clean air as the east coast, without the small town boredom. My uncles are there and I'm sure they would help me get settled in - one even works for the airport, so landing and figuring out where to go shouldn't be a problem. I'm sure health care isn't much different on that side of the Country. Although there's lots of pros to this, it doesn't seem to excite me (or scare me) like the previous 3 choices..and it's really a toss up over which is hotter...men in scarves or cowboy hats...

Other unlikely options I thought about briefly...PEI (now completely out of the question for a few reasons that I won't bore you with), and Halifax (unlikely if all the loves of my life are packing up and moving on)

Sooo before xmas i am to choose my consolidation course for my last 4 months of school. I can pick whatever hospital in TO I want and whichever section - the idea being I pick a place I would be interested in working after graduation. This is difficult b/c I don't know where I want to work. I'm kind of thinking the ER (if I can pass the pre-test) just to see if it's something I'd be interested in (and it'd be such a cool experience to be in a downtown TO ER), other choices are a general med/surge floor or cardiovascular...Anyways, having to think about that has led me to thinking about graduating and where to go...

Big picture...I want to buy a Tri bike and maybe a car (or ZipCar) after graduation (if I stay here...or even if I don't I suppose) so I can seriously get into Triathlons. I haven't given up on Med School...soooo I am gonna have to start thinking about re-writing the MCAT, when/where I want to apply and everything else that goes with that...so basically wherever I decided to go (or stay) after graduation most likely won't be a permanent residence. It is tempting though to dream of having my bike and buying a loft and settling down by myself in a familiar city...

I would be highly surprised if you managed to read this far. When making decisions I am highly indecisive (as anyone who knows me is aware of) - I can't even quickly decide on which smoothie to buy at booster juice! ...but writing it all out and getting input from others is helpful. So help a sista out yo and let me know what you think.

word.

AND NOW I'M SITTING IN A ROW IN A LITTLE CHURCH DOWN IN MEXICO.